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In case you've been mourning the lack of new posts on this Peak Performance blog, no worries. I'm still here, posting most weekdays at The Summit Blog, our new company blogsite. You'll find tips and war stories, observations and the occasional book review there. You can even sign up for an email subscription in case you don't want to go on the web to read the posts.

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Achieve better results by setting specific goals

It's that time of year when the mantra becomes "get in shape for Summer." Well, what in the heck does "get in shape" mean? I have a colleague that says, "I'm in shape - a sphere is a shape!" Even if you've not joined in the mantra, there are lessons to be learned in this example on making goals specific to increase the chances that you'll achieve them. So bear with me.

Goals defined by specific results

What's your definition of "in shape"? Is it a certain number of pounds or a certain percentage of body fat? Is it the ability to walk to the end of the driveway to pick up the mail without being out of breath? Unless you define it in specific terms you won't know whether it's achieveable and you won't be able to measure it. So you won't ever really be able to experience the thrill of victory associated with achieving it.

Here are some examples of "get in shape" specific goals as defined by results:

• Weigh 130 healthy pounds by 5/31/08.
• Bench press 200 pounds by 10/1/08.
• Finish a half-marathon by November 30, 2008.

Goals defined by specific activities

Sometimes you don't know what the specific results are going to be, or you know that the results are so long-term that they won't keep you on track right now. So you set a goal around the activities that you expect will get you the results you want. Activity goals in and of themselves aren't necessarily the best goals - you can be busy and still going nowhere, and they need to be evaluated regularly to see whether they are indeed getting you closer to your goals. But when you've linked them to the ultimate result and you're checking them regularly against the RBG (really big goal) they can do the job well for you. Here are some examples:

• Work out at the gym for at least 1 hour 3 days per week starting 3/26/08.
• Drink 8 glasses of water per day starting 3/31/08.
• Eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day starting 3/26/08.
• Schedule my free fitness assessment at the health club on or before 4/30/08.

You'll notice that the activity goals (with the exception of the last one) have no finish lines - they have only start dates. If you want to build your confidence (and your accountability) you might want to consider setting them for a month at a time. Or if you expect that they are going to be relatively difficult adaptations in behavior for you to establish, set them a week at a time. You get to define what short term and long term goal timeframes are. Match them to your level of motivation and the degree of difficulty of the goal for you.

The Theory of Multiple Intelligences

Good news if you've been disappointed by your results on a traditional IQ (Intelligence Quotient) test: according to the Theory of Multiple Intelligences the test that you took doesn't adequately represent how intelligent you are. Psychologist Howard Gardner theorizes that there are multiple ways in which to be intelligent.

In the multiple intelligences paradigm every individual is a unique combination of

1. Linguistic - ability with words, reading, writing, memorization of dates
2. Math - reasoning, abstract pattern recognition, scientific thinking, ability to do complex calculations
3. Music - sensitivity to music, sounds, often absolute pitch, respond well to aural modes of learning like lecture
4. Spatial - good at visualizing and manipulating objects, may also have a good sense of direction
5. Kinesthetic - ability with movement and doing, such as dancing and athletics, often good muscle memory and learns best by doing
6. Interpersonal - ability to communicate with others, extroverts sensitive to others' moods, work well in groups and enjoy discussion and debate
7. Intrapersonal - process information best alone, self-aware, often an affinity for thought-based pursuits
8. Naturalistic - the newest (1996) and still under debate - the ability to identify species, nurture and grow things, to see one's place in nature

Educators and trainers have considered the application of multiple intelligences theory in the design of learning methods. For example:

• teaching children mathematic concepts or spelling via rhythm
• teaching history by involving teens in a debate to defend or dispute the perspectives of the colonists vs. the British prior to the American Revolution
• playing music in the background during work sessions
• learning counting by manipulating objects such as sticks or blocks

If you feel like you're not getting through to someone, consider whether you're framing your message in a manner consistent with their intelligence type. If they're kinesthetic show them and have them practice physically doing something. If they're musical or interpersonal talk with them. You get the idea.

Helping your team develop fresh ideas

Are your staff meetings sounding like the same-old, same-old? Is the group retreading over the same solutions for the same problems? If you want to shake things up a bit, here are some quick ideas for helping your team develop fresh ideas:

• Form a book club. Choose a relevant text and incorporate a discussion of one chapter into each staff meeting until you're all the way through it.
• Take a field trip. Go see a competitor's operation, or a noncompetitor in a similar industry. Or for that matter, visit a business that's barely like yours at all. You'll still find some transferable ideas, and if they come from a completely new frame of reference they're likely to freshen things up for you.
• Go to a conference. See what's new and have the opportunity to network with other businesses to find out what's working for them.
• Join a customer's trade association. If you really want to develop customer loyalty you can do so best by standing in their shoes. Find out what their issues are and you can better develop solutions for them. And you might meet some other potential customers in the process...
• Bring in a guest speaker. Find an authority on the subject of concern and pick their brain. (That concept looks kind of creepy in print - maybe I need a new metaphor!)
• Scour the blogs. If you're reading this you already are checking out the blogosphere, but try the blog carnivals if you want a lot of content on a particular subject.
• Send your team home to play with their kids. Believe it or not, when I was a kid my dad developed a patent for the cold extrusion of metal by playing with my brother and me and our Play-Doh Fun Factory! Kids use different tools, and they're not restricted by the same number of assumptions as adults are.
• Rock the boat. Change something. Rearrange the desks so people work adjacent to somebody new. Be open to the concept of discomfort and a bit of storming. It's said that if the boat isn't rocking it probably isn't moving forward, either.

Christian spiritual practice - the prayer labyrinth

Today is Maundy Thursday, in Christian practice the commemoration of the day that Christ had his last supper with his disciples, then was betrayed by Judas. It was the day that put the wheels in motion toward his arrest and crucifixion. While Easter celebrates the eternal life available to believers through Christ's rising from the dead, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday convey the enormity of the sacrifice he made on behalf of mankind.

For Christians this is a time of contemplation, and currently some Christian churches are rediscovering the process of the prayer labyrinth.

Wikipedia says that "the Prayer Labyrinth was adopted by the Church across Europe during the medieval times, being often used as a means to meditate, pray and connect with God in a higher spiritual way. Numerous cathedrals in Europe have prayer labytinths embedded into their floors, with the Cathedral of Chartres (Notre-Dame de Chartres Cathedral), located about 80 km from Paris having one of the most famous prayer labyrinths in the world. Prayer Labyrinths were often viewed and modeled as a journey to Jerusalem and were even called Chemin de Jerusalem (Road of Jerusalem) serving as a spiritual pilgrimage for those who could not afford to travel to Jerusalem, the center of the world."

The practitioner enters the path, sometimes assisted by music or guided reading. They move at their own pace and are invited to stop along the path of the labyrinth to pray and meditate. Unlike a maze, which is designed to confound an entrant, the labyrinth has only one path to follow. The end of the labyrinth is visible and the practitioner will reach it if he or she follows the path.

Modern Christian churches that are rediscovering the prayer labyrinth are often doing so in the context of the Lenten season leading up to Good Friday and Easter, when Christians are focused on seeking reconciliation with God. If you are interested in finding a labyrinth, click here for a locator.

Book Wish List - Six-Word Memoirs

I was listening to Jean Chatzky on XM 156 yesterday where they were talking about summing up your life in six words. A new book on the topic called Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, edited by Smith Magazine, was just released February 5.


Here's the premise - choose six words that could explain your life or be used on an epitaph. I used the idea as an ice breaker with a development group the other day and it was quite fun. Here are some examples:

• When I'm gray I'll go red (that was Jean Chatzky's)
  
• Two young kids, no free time (that's mine)

From the book:

• Seventy years, few tears, hairy ears - Bill Querengesser
• Extremely responsible, secretly longed for spontaneity - Sabra Jennings
• Painful nerd kid, happy nerd adult - Linda Williamson
• I'm my mother and I'm fine - K. Bertrand
• Grumpy old soundman needs love, too - Lenny Rosengard
• Joined army. Came out. Got booted. - Johan Baumeister

This isn't just a fun activity. Challenge yourself to be profound, witty, topical, provocative, spiritual, intellectual, etc. Who knows - you might find your genius in there!

Doing isn't necessarily the best thing

This week is really hectic (thus no post yesterday) for me, and although that's a good thing - business is great! - the constant motion can interfere with productivity. Yes, I said that constantly doing isn't necessarily the best thing.

When you're subject to a wild schedule, and a lot of times your obligations involve commitments to other people, it's easy to slip into reaction mode. The times when you're busiest are the times when you're most likely to fall into autopilot mode. You're more likely to be operating based upon habits of thought and behavior, some of which might not be the best thoughts and actions for this particular time or situation.

Hit the pause button
Stop before you act and hit the pause button. Instead of taking the first action that comes to your mind stop and evaluate the other options and the risks and/or opportunities associated with them. If you can, confer with someone to gain a fresh perspective.

Take a five-minute vacation
No matter how busy you are today take some time (even 5 minutes) to stop and find a quiet space and clear your mind. Focus on your breathing, focus on the sensations of aliveness in your fingers, toes, arms and legs. Let the world melt away and just BE. If you're too tense to just BE, start from the top of your body and work your way down to your feet and tighten your muscles, then release. It'll help you relax.

Change the scenery
Physically change something - your position in your chair, the room you're in, walk outside. Fresh stimulus lends fresh ideas. Or the reverse of that, if you're having a "senior moment" because of all of the mental clutter return to the spot you were in when you had the idea and it will likely return to you.

Make an appointment to recuperate
You can't drive your car endlessly without refueling and changing the oil, so why treat your body any differently? Go home a couple of minutes earlier than you were originally planning. Play relaxing music. Eat a nutritious meal. Go to bed early to build your physical resources for the next challenge.

Engaging your "assistant buyer" mentality

Once you're "at bat" with a potential customer one of the biggest potential landmines in the interaction is when you apply pressure, whether it's intentional or unintentional. When a prospect feels pressure they're likely not to buy, but rather to back away or stall. When you've got looming quotas or when the bank account is looking a little bit scant it's hard not to transfer your own sense of urgency into the transaction. But the solution is in engaging an "assistant buyer" mentality.

The world of traditional sales has certain characteristics:

• An attitude of "I've got the answer that everybody needs, if only they were smart enough to see it."
• If I just spew enough information the prospect will see how great my product is.
• If I've got a good spiel (presentation) I'll be effective.
• If I've got good enough brochures and other collateral materials I won't have to work too hard.
• My mastery of tricky manipulation and closing techniques will convince prospects to buy even if they don't need my product. And if they don't really need it I don't care as long as I'm moving units.

This adds up to an "I win, you lose when you give me your money" sort of dynamic. Sometimes it might work for THIS sale. But it's unlikely to develop the sort of accurate match between prospect and product and the kind of rapport between customer and salesperson that will create customer loyalty. If you resort to the old arm-wrestling model of sales you might have OK results in the short run, but you won't be maximizing the potential lifetime value of this customer relationship.

The assistant buyer mentality has these characteristics:

• I'm not going to assume you need what I have. I'm going to take the time to find out about what's going on in your business, what your goals are and how critical they are to achieve. I'm going to find out what's currently blocking you from achieving them. THEN I'll see whether what I've got will fill the bill to overcome some of those obstacles you're facing.
• I'm working on building a longer-term relationship of mutual respect with you and I'm keeping your best interests in mind. This means that even if you don't buy from me now you might in the future when the situation is a better match. If I do a good job this also means that you might refer other prospective customers to me.
• I'm asking questions about budgets, decision making process and timing so that I'm talking to the right person and not wasting anybody's time.
• I recognize that just as I have a selling process you have a buying process, and I'm going to be intentional about helping you buy in the manner that's most comfortable for you. That way you won't question or regret your decision tomorrow.
• I'll match your pace. If you're in a hurry I'll be quick and responsive in my follow-up. If you're not looking to do anything for 3 months I'll be in touch within that time frame, but not every five minutes (that's pressure.) I don't want to "beat you to the bank" and I don't want you to beat me, either.

So in summary - the extent to which you can place yourself in your buyer's shoes is the extent to which you'll enhance your chance at a long-term, positive relationship with them. You can become a trusted advisor - and that's good for everybody.

Book suggestion - Strategy and the Fat Smoker

I just started my latest book adventure, called Strategy and the Fat Smoker - Doing What's Obvious But Not Easy, by David Maister. Maister is also the author of the best selling Managing the Professional Service Firm.

I must admit that I love the title of this book. One look and I completely get the premise - we all know what to do, we all know whether we're fat or not or whether we're in need of change or not. The difference among us is some of us simply don't want it enough to do what's necessary to do something about it!

Here are what Maister calls "some of the few things we know about persuading people to change before the heart attack comes":

1. It's about a permanent change in lifestyle - we underestimate how much effort is truly required to bring about significant improvement.
2. You must change the scorecards - strategy must be publicly tracked, measured and monitored.
3. Leadership: get serious or get out of the way - perhaps the single biggest difficulty in getting an organization's members to stick to the diet is convincing them that top management really wants them to.
4. Principles are more effective than tactics - strategies in business, like diets and alcohol recovery, are implemented much more effectively when the ideas are presented as matters of principle, not just as matters of expediency.
5. People must volunteer - the motivation must be intrinsic, because the essence of successful strategic change is not technique, but will. It's successful only when the individual chooses to do it for himself, not for someone else.
6. People must get on or off the bus - while every individual can, and must, make an individual choice the organization must decide how to respond to those individual choices. You may need to protect those who have chosen to participate by ridding the firm of those who refuse to come on board.

Maister is coming from the same philosophical place that I do, and that's part of why I like this book. I mean let's get real about this. Secondly, his writing style is no-nonsense and accessble. You won't have to slog through ten-inch paragraphs and hyper-intellectual style to get the message. Check it out.

How NOT to tell an employee that you're letting them go

I caught up with a former colleague the other day and heard the story of how he got into the great role he has right now. The ending was sweet, but the story of how he got there was appalling. So - unless they've committed a crime of some sort - here is a list of how NOT to tell an employee that you're letting them go:

• Send a companywide email with posting opportunities on it and include their job on the list of available positions.
• Unpack their personal items from their desk when they're out of the office and leave the box of items handily waiting for them on top of the desk for when they arrive the next day.
• Send a singing telegram. The song will help to ease the blow.
• Call their mother and let their mother tell them the bad news.
• Assign two security guards to meet them at the front door, escort them to their office and monitor the packing of their office before the guards collect their key and escort them back out the door. Oh, and make plenty of noise so EVERYONE in the department can have the opportunity to know what's going on.
• Tell them the afternoon before they leave on vacation. That way they won't have to worry about coming back in when vacation is over.
• Tell them the day before the Christmas/New Year holiday. If you time it right everybody's tax information will be really clean, with no untidy paychecks extending into the next year.
• Send them an email.
• Call them when they're at the hospital recovering from major surgery. Otherwise they'll send your health care costs through the roof!
• Tell them right before they have a baby. Their joy at the new family addition will distract them from the fact that they will have no income.
• Tell the office gossip and they'll pass the information along.
• Save the unemployment compensation. Don't fire them - simply make the working conditions intolerable enough that they'll choose to quit!

The game face and the paradigm of threat

To what extent are you aware that you put on a facade or "game face" rather than reveal the person that you really are? The game face generally isn't used when you're feeling confident and upbeat. You put it on when you're feeling a bit uncertain, fearful, or sad and you don't want anyone to know it.

We all operate from our own frames of reference about relationships with other people, whether business or personal. Some of us come from the assumptions that the world is generally a safe place, people are generally nice, and that it's OK to be whoever we are.

Others of us come from the paradigm that the world is threatening, people are generally out to get us and that we need to prevent them from having the opportunity to do so. When we're coming with this attitude we make assumptions like:

• You can tell they're lying because they're moving their mouth.
• They'll take advantage of any sign of weakness to overpower me or make me look bad.
• Everybody else is more competent than me and I hope nobody figures that out.

That defensive position creates behavior like:

• Hoarding resources or information.
• Avoidance of other people.
• Calling attention to other people's flaws in an attempt to distract attention from one's own.
• Taking a proactive attack position to be able to make the first strike rather than feel vulnerable.
• Spreading misinformation (gossip.)
• Collecting a cadre of allies for the purpose of defending against or attacking a threat.

Let's say you operate under the paradigm of threat in certain situations. Just because you think they're against you doesn't mean they really are. Chances are pretty good that it's not even about you. What would happen if you would test your assumption that the world is out to get you?

If you decided to behave as though the setting and/or other people were not threatening in some way you might:

• Share information freely.
• Choose to interact with people even when you're not forced to.
• Let people get to know you as a person, not just as a job description.

If you're in a situation where you are experiencing legitimate threat on a regular basis you might want to consider whether you would be better off somewhere else. The choice might not be easy, but you always have a choice.

Puppy training and lessons on leadership

This is Boomerang - Boomer for short - our Aussiedoodle puppy. He's 4-1/2 months old, and my daughter and I have been taking him to puppy kindergarten to learn the basics: sit, lay down, loose leash walking, and the all-important leave it and drop it. Beside the basic puppy tricks I'm learning some valuable information on leadership that I think can apply to leading people as well.

With two children, two cats and now two dogs our goal in going to puppy class with Boomer is to keep our household chaos "down to a dull roar," as my mom used to say. I'll just brag right now and say that Boomerang is really smart. He learns fast, and I've also learned a lot from his training.

So here are some of the accumulated lessons on leadership I've learned from class, from the monks of New Skete, and from Cesar Milan - the Dog Whisperer. Some might appear to contradict one other, but I think they all have their places. Choose the ones that resonate with you.

• You have to be clear about the fact that you lead the pack and that the dog is to follow you.
• Catch good behavior the instant it happens and reward it if you want to see it again.
• The practice expectation for "lay down" is 25 repetitions per day to get it ingrained. (I think "drop it" might take 250!)
• It's about the relationship. There's a huge reward in a good rubdown and a "good boy." This means that you don't necessarily have to carry a stock of dog treats everywhere you go.
• Some dogs will do anything for a treat.
• Only use your dog's name with a happy, positive tone so they want to come to you when you say it. Find another word to get their attention when they're misbehaving.
• If you need to take a valued toy or piece of contraband from the puppy give them something acceptable to replace it.
• Dogs sense and react to the energy you exude. Be a calm assertive leader and they will be balanced followers.
• If you want to train a puppy to stay with you, tether them to your belt on a rope for a good portion of a day, go about your business and have them follow you. They'll have to pay attention to where you're going and what you're doing.
• Chasing a puppy doesn't work to get them to come to you. Hide from them and their curiousity will demand that they find you.

More rain and the impact of expectation

"It looks like it's going to rain this weekend - again. More mud, more dreary skies, more umbrellas to house-train the puppy and more soggy towels from drying the dogs off after a quick out in the yard. More of my kids driving me nuts because they've got cabin fever from being cooped up in the house. On top of that, we've had rain instead of snow this year. The kids are disappointed because they haven't had a chance to use their sleds. What a sloppy mess!"

"Whine, whine, whine. Complain, complain, complain. What difference does it really make whether it rains or not? It's not like your house is in the middle of a flood zone!"

"Well, it will be about the third time I tried to have a play date for the puppy, and we keep getting rained out! My kids were expecting to have lacrosse practice! I was going to go shopping, but who wants to slog around in the pouring rain? It's going to be an awful weekend!"

What kind of a weekend is that person setting up in her mind because of her expectations? She's connected rain with all kinds of let-downs, from social, to housekeeping, to logistics. I guess it's good that it'll be raining because it'll be easier for her to go eat worms - they'll be right up at the surface laying on the road and the driveway!

There are so many dimensions to the concept of expectation - how much of them we build up in our minds, how they impact our behavior (the self-fulfilling prophecy,) how we can have some that are impossible to fulfill.

The situation here is that the rain is going to come, no matter how hard she struggles against it. So why struggle? When your expectation is around something that's beyond your ability to control or influence, struggling is a waste of energy. Instead of whining and complaining, ask yourself:

• What can I do, despite these conditions?
• Is there a benefit, maybe even hidden, in this situation?
• Is it the situation itself, or my sullied expecations that have me so bent out of shape?
• How can I get value out of this?

I'm not telling you to have no expectations. It's just that sometimes the rain is going to come no matter what you do or say, and you might as well make the best of it.

Your vision or satisfying customers?

I watched the finale of Project Runway on Bravo last night. While I'm interested in the fashions that's not the point of the show for me. I look at the creativity and execution on the part of the designers, and in particular the balance they have to create between fulfilling their individual artistic vision and creating items that would satisfy customers.

Christopher, the designer who won - and congratulations to him for winning the infrastructure to launch his own line at the ripe old age of 21 - wasn't my favorite. He was creative, no question about it, but his work (almost costume-like) would speak only to a fairly narrow niche of fashionistas like Victoria Beckham, who was one of the three judges. Maybe that is exactly what he was trying to do.

Knowing where you stand on this is a key part of managing your product and/or service offerings. Do you care whether anyone buys your art? Does it matter to whether your book makes the Times best seller list? Are you thinking that you're serving a narrow target market with an exclusive offering, or are you looking to go more mass-market?

If you're producing and people aren't buying it, consider the extent to which you're seeking to satisfy yourself vs. satisfy them. If you're customer focused yet artistically (and I use the term loosely here) intent perhaps you could try to pull them along with you gradually until your full vision can be shared without alienating them.

If you don't need to sell that thing you're creating, or if you're willing to take that risk, who cares whether you're jarring people's sensibilities when you're introducing it? Sometimes people don't know that they need it or want it yet - you're leading the parade. I think of most things bearing the Apple brand when I talk about this. Now there's a whole Apple subculture that won't use anything else (no, Steve Jobs isn't paying me to say this.) In addition there are a whole bunch of followers who are trying to catch up in the innovation department.

A long time ago an artist acquaintance of mine said (and I paraphrase) "any creation starts to decay the moment it leaves your mind and you start to make it real." While I think that's a really pessimistic view of the creative process, there are decisions to make and compromises perhaps in the process of production so that your creation can have practical application. Your job is to know where your priorities are and where the "ideal" balance is for you.

It's not over until...

If you're a relatively frequent reader of this blog you'll know that I follow politics to some degree, and this year's presidential race is particularly interesting.

• John McCain will be challenging the notion that there's a maximum age at which we should look to someone for a significant contribution.
• Hillary Clinton will be challenging the notion that a "girl" can't a) get elected, and b) be as effective at running our country as a boy can.
• Barack Obama will be challenging the notion that the highest office in the land only belongs to older Caucasian males with white-bread sounding names.
• Our country will be (I hope) challenging the notion that someone's effectiveness in this highest office and others in government are determined solely by whether the holder is a D or an R. Sure, there are some philosophical differences between the parties, but in today's world we don't have the luxury of dismissing ideas out of hand just because they come from the other side of the aisle.

Such a marathon for these candidates! McCain has been through this before, back in 2000 when he ran against George W. Bush. Even in this campaign in 2007 financing and some of his views, including those on immigration reform, almost ended this run. But he plugged on, and now will have an opportunity to be in the big show in November.

I think Hillary has looked a bit tired in the past few weeks, and who wouldn't with the kind of schedules the candidates have to run. But despite early reports of her demise she has plugged on, stumping in Ohio and Texas and keeping her campaign going. Yesterday's primary results demonstrated that her determination and unwillingness to declare it over paid off.

As for Barack, he's newer to this game, but even he, who seems to be a relative youngster and a rising star in the Democratic party, overcame a defeat in a campaign for the House in 2000 to be elected to the Senate in 2004.

I must admit that I'm happy that the Democratic race is not yet decided, because we Pennsylvanians have been concerned for a while that our primary falls so late in the cycle that our votes would not matter in who is selected for the most demanding job imaginable. For the Democratic presidential candidates it's not over.

So when is it really "over" for the rest of us? When we're too old, whatever age that is? When we've been defeated one too many times? When we've been publicly embarrassed? When we've made a mistake? When we've been passed over for a job opportunity or promotion? When we get our first wrinkles, gray hairs or bald spots? Perhaps when we are given a life-threatening diagnosis?

I think to a great degree it's over only when we lay down and declare that it's over. Politics demonstrates this to us again and again. Perhaps this round has been lost, but we have more opportunities ahead if we pick our heads up and see them and keep moving forward. Our biggest victories might still be ahead of us.

Are you afraid of the Leprechaun?

The approach of St. Patrick's Day means I need to figure out what we're going to do about the Leprechaun. When my older daughter was in preschool the Leprechaun started to show up, moving furniture around in her classroom and spreading glitter in the hallway. Her teachers recommended that we set a Leprechaun trap in our house to see whether we could catch him when he visited us.

Lauren was obsessed with the Leprechaun, and not in the happy way she looked forward to Santa or the Easter Bunny (although she's never been big on having ANY strangers visit the house at night.) We rigged a trap with a Tupperware bowl and several gold-wrapped Rolo candies. And I'll be darned, the trap was sprung on St. Patrick's day, the dining room was a bit messed up - but we found no Leprechaun - go figure.

I don't know why the Leprechaun was so frightening. He was supposed to bring magic and fun along with just a little dose of mischief. But for years my daughter would say, "I hope the Leprechaun won't come!" We had to create high-tech Leprechaun repellent to keep him away from the house.

Now we have another preschooler, and so far the Leprechaun has stayed away. I'm not sure that he wants to open that can of worms of fear and dread again. It's a bit of a shame, because he brings whimsy and magic to St. Patrick's Day.

Are YOU afraid of the Leprechaun? Are you keeping him out of your house because you're not sure what he'll bring? What would happen if you would lure him in with some gold-wrapped chocolate or other such bait? Sure he might make things a little messy, but Leprechauns aren't malevolent creatures - they just want to have fun. And if you're open to it, you might have some fun too.

Mindlessness and stereotypes

I've been writing for the last couple of posts about the work of Ellen Langer, Ph.D. of Harvard University. I'd like to spend a few moments on a third application of the concept of mindlessness - that of stereotypes that we apply to people. For example:

• Wearing hiphop attire - must be a criminal
• Wearing a suit - must be a manager
• Certain color of skin - must be smart, stupid, poor, greedy, wealthy, overly emotional, an alcoholic, etc.
• Over a certain age - must be old-fashioned and closed-minded
• Under a certain age - must be stupid and impulsive

You get the idea, and you also know that the list is way longer than that. The point is this: it's less work for us to be mindless and make assumptions about what certain factors mean than it is for us to invest the time and energy to really get to know somebody. They might have the outward appearance of a thug and the heart of a poet once we have a chance to get acquainted. (Or they might look like a solid citizen, yet have the values of a criminal!)

Stereotypes aren't necessarily negative. My daughters were born in China, and I can't tell you how many times people have said things to me like, "You know THEY are all really smart," or "I've heard THEY'RE all good in math." I suppose it's better that they're benefiting in a way from a positive expectation because they'll attempt to rise to meet it. On the other hand, the expectations can be pretty daunting and lead to perfectionism, frustration, etc. if left unchallenged.

There's been recurring debate about whether racism, ageism, sexism, and all of the other-isms have waned as our society has become more aware of them. I think the answer to the question depends upon where you sit. We might have heightened our sensitivity, but at the same time we've heightened our desire for speed and efficiency. You can't just apply the principles of cycle time reduction on the process of really getting to know someone. So it's still tempting to break our legs jumping to conclusions about who or what somebody is based on limited information.

And the more experience we have at placing people into categories, however arbitrary, the bigger the risk that we won't take the time with someone in the future. I might be fairly open-minded about someone from a "category" that I've never experienced before, but I quickly begin racking up observations that I can apply to the next person who appears to fit the mold. The next person I meet might fall victim to my mindless pigeon-holing of them before they say even one word to me.

If your primary motivators are efficiency and self-protection, then you might be using stereotypes more than you realize. If, however, you shift your focus to opportunity and relationship building you have a shot at becoming more mindful and giving THIS person a real opportunity to know and be known by you.