Manage your time by mastering conversation stoppers!

Have you ever been in the thick of a party or networking function and not been able to get away from someone who's a candidate for On And On Anon? Have you been at a nightspot trying to meet Mr. or Ms. Right when Mr. or Ms. Wrong just can't seem to get a clue and leave you alone? Never fear! These conversation stoppers are sure to help you stop wasting your time with those boring folks and move on to new and greener pastures:

• Look repeatedly over their shoulders at someone cuter that you'd like to talk to instead. Try not to nod or give nonverbal responses while you're checking out the room beyond them. They might mistake your body English for interest.
• Prepare for all social functions by making a list of all of your recent physical ailments so you can recount them in glorious detail when you want to get away. You'll get more conversation time savings with the ones that include blood or other bodily fluids, or with ailments that are still lingering even now - and contagious.
• If you know the guest list ahead of time, do some research on the other invitees so you'll be armed with enough dirt to trash any one (or more) of them with great gusto when you're in an unwanted tete a tete. You receive bonus points for trashing the host or hostess.
• Try to sell them something. There's nothing like a little verbal arm wrestling with a reluctant prospect to stop a conversation cold. This technique works best if you don't ask any questions first - go right for the order. Another clever variation is to talk loudly about a purchase that might be private or downright embarrassing to them should you be overheard.
• Whine. You can do it in the childish "Why me? It's a world plot and everyone's out to get me" mode, or choose the more angry "He's such an ---hole! You'll never believe what he did to me!" method. Persistence in this method is important, because some people have heard enough whining elsewhere that they've developed some immunity. Another risk of this method is that they might join in and pile on. Instead of stopping the conversation you will have ignited one!
• If you need to bring out the big guns - consume just enough garlic or raw onions that you can see a faint cloud in front of you when you exhale. You won't have to do anything but sigh once or twice and you'll cut your conversation time obligation in half! Unfortunately this techique is not selective in its target - but that could save you even more time!

Master these stopper techniques and your uninvited conversation partners will run for cover! Warning: use of these techniques could leave you with the social calendar of Attila the Hun. You could find yourself with UNLIMITED time in which to pursue your goals - as long as they don't involve anybody else!